Simple Things Are Powerful

More than 30 years ago we simply stumbled onto it. We can’t really take credit for being smart enough to have gone about it the right way, it’s just the way it happened. We built a friendship before a romantic love. Even when we began talking about getting engaged, our conversations focused on getting to know as much about each other as possible. At one point, it even became a bit of a contest—who could think of a subject we had not discussed or a question we had not already asked each other? The result was a remarkably strong confidence in our friendship. 

All these years later, we look back and see that we were blessed. We had unknowingly gotten off to a great start. We understand now that love and romance flow out of friendship, not the other way around. So, working on the foundation and core of marriage always includes enriching your friendship.

In the Marriage Initiative challenges we want to provide a steady diet of ideas and activities that are meant simply to build friendship—to create a context for knowing and enjoying each other as best friends. 

I know that some of you use that term to refer to someone other than your spouse—someone who perhaps shares your love of a hobby or special interest. And that’s probably fine. You should have close friends other than your spouse. But when I talk about friendship I mean it as a measure of how intimately you know someone, how much you support his or her aspirations, how much you express your admiration of them each day. These are the basics of friendship. And in marriage, these things are meant to run deep—very deep. Deeper in marriage than any other human relationship.

If, as you read this, you realize that you have that kind of friendship, congratulations. You have the foundation of a great marriage. And if, as I describe this, you should happen to question how much friendship you actually share with your spouse, don’t despair. Yes, there is sadness in realizing that things are less than they should be. But the secret to marriage is really not that mysterious—it’s basic. It’s friendship. And you can pursue it. You can build it. And in time, it will transform your marriage.

Blessings!

Pastor Bill