January Challenge

Getting the Conversation Started:

This month your challenge is to make time for three, key, conversations as a couple. Make sure that you carve out enough time and space that you can be focused (that means no TV) and uninterrupted (yep, turn off your phone too) for at least 20-30 minutes. If you talk for longer, great, but you have to commit at least 20 minutes to each conversation to say that you took the “Initiative” this month.

Note: If you find that you or your spouse experiences a personal reluctance to engage in any of the Conversations outlined here, we encourage you to begin by talking about that hesitation. Over the course of the year, the Marriage Initiative monthly challenges will involve a wide variety of activities. Consider pursuing an agreement to take part in as many of the monthly challenges as you both agree will be helpful to your situation. We’ll be providing some great ideas, but the real goal is to help you regularly take the Initiative to pursue a little more growth and health in your marriage

Conversation One: Celebrating Strengths

Celebrating the positives is an important means of strengthening your marriage and should receive as much, or more, attention as overcoming negatives. In this conversation, the goal is to focus on what you have rather than what you lack.

1. Begin by spending a few moments reminiscing over one or two of your favorite experiences you have shared as a couple. What makes it so memorable to you?

2. Together, identify one or more things you have in common in each of the following categories:

a. Interests     b. Fears     c. Dreams     d. Values

3. Tell each other what you view as the other’s greatest personal strength? And what is the best thing he or she brings to your marriage?

Conversation Two: Processing the Sermon

1. If you missed being at Gateway on the weekend of January 10-11 listen to the sermon online CLICK HERE (No, this doesn’t count toward your 20-30 minutes, but nice try!)

2. God describes his goals for marriage in Genesis 2:24-25. These would include unity, trust, acceptance, safety, exclusiveness, companionship, openness. Which of these aspects have you had the most success in realizing in your marriage? 

3. In what area of life would you say your spouse is most trustworthy or dependable? How does this positively impact your marriage?

4. Review the forms of grace described in Colossians 3:12-13. Describe a time when you received grace from your spouse? Choose one of the forms of grace from Colossians you would be willing to focus on in your marriage over the next week. Share about this with each other.

Conversation Three: Looking Ahead to 2015

1. Quickly review some of your conclusions from Conversations One and Two.

2. What would you identify as one of the greatest strengths of your marriage relationship?

3. While pains and problems will need attention too, today, identify an area of strength you would like to see grow even stronger over the coming year.

4. Discuss ways that you might pursue development in the area of strength that each of you identified. What commitments might you be willing to make to pursue that over the next 12 months? What concrete plans would you need to make in order to be successful?