November Challenge

The Gratitude Attitude

In the February Challenge we worked on the vital relational area of “admiration.” In that assignment you worked toward the goal of offering your spouse a healthy diet of three kinds of admiration: appreciation, affection and respect. While it’s natural for your spouse to hunger for one of these a bit more than the other two, all three are important in creating a positive atmosphere of admiration. So this month, being the Thanksgiving season, it seemed logical for all of us to return to the topic of of appreciation. 

This month’s challenge isn’t the kind where we are hoping you will work your way through, step by step. Instead, we have given you a list of ideas hoping that at least one or two will be a good fit for you. You’ll be seeking to increase your awareness of the positive impact your spouse has on your life and then of course, expressing genuine gratitude in ways that encourage and enrich your marriage. 

Blessings

Pastor Bill & Melanie

Maximizing Your Gratitude:

One of the keys to appreciating your spouse is recognition. You have to see a good thing before you can appreciate it. These ideas are meant to increase your awareness of things you should be grateful for in your spouse. Individually, pick one or two of the exercises to focus on this month.

• Every day for one week ask God for insight into your life and marriage. In particular, ask him to reveal to you the things you should be thankful for. On the 7th day write out a prayer of thanks to God for your spouse.
• Some of the things you could be thankful for might be hiding behind a minor frustration or annoyance. Consider your not-so-favorite qualities of your spouse. Ask yourself, what positive thing that quality might also produce in your lives. Here’s an example: Every once in a while Bill hurts Melanie’s feelings with an untimely joke. But the flip side is that his sense of humor more often makes her laugh. This doesn’t excuse his mistakes, but neither should his mistakes negate the upside of his sense of humor—their marriage is marked by a lot of laughter and fun. Pray for the ability to see, and embrace the positive aspects of your spouse’s quirkier qualities. Sure, we all need to reign in the hurtful or annoying things, but don’t miss out on being grateful for the upside!
• Do you know your spouse’s Love Language? Is it words, gifts, touch, time or actions? If you do know, make a list of the things your spouse does for you using his or her own language rather than yours. If you don’t share the same language you may be missing some big love messages. Learning to translate the message behind your spouses actions could greatly increase your sense of gratitude for the love your spouse has for you.
• If you happen to be someone who is participating in posting your daily gratitude on FaceBook, make sure you list something about your spouse among those postings at least once a week.
• Place a small object that reminds you of your spouse in a place that you might not normally think much about him or her (in your car for your commute, on your desk, computer desktop, next to your tv, on the bathroom mirror). Use the object as a reminder to further develop your attitude of gratefulness for your spouse during your busier moments of the day.
• Go back and review the February Challenge, or, if you are new to the Marriage Initiative, it would be helpful to go back to complete that challenge. You can find it on the Marriage Initiative page, under the Grow Together tab at gatewayweb.org.

Couple Sharing:

Sometime near the end of November, sit down to talk through one or more of these items as a couple:

• Take turns sharing the prayers you wrote in Part One.
• Every day for a week, finish your day by sharing one thing you are grateful for in each other from that day.
• If you have children in your home (or maybe even if you don’t) consider using a thankfulness basket for the holiday. On Thanksgiving Day, set out a basket and an abundance of small paper slips. Ask everyone in your family to write down things they are thankful for throughout the day. At dinner time, pass the basket around and take turns reading the notes. It doesn’t matter who reads whose notes. As for yourself, be sure to include several points of thanks regarding your spouse.
• To get your holiday started in the right direction, attend Gateway’s Thanksgiving Eve service together. It will be Wednesday, November 25 at 7:00 PM.